Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Kevin Blackmore


If you got the great big fright
and your heart give out tonight
Would you be ready now to go?
No you’re not, no, I know!
If you trips up over the cat
Or you’re clogged right up with fat
And you passes out cold junk
Is you ready for the great big thump?

And if your trike goes through the ice
And you get double pneumonia twice
Is you ready for the beyond
Drivin’ across the heavenly pond?
And your bog bikes takes a spill
And you finds out you is killed
Have you made all your amends
Is you prepared to start the end?

By d’Lard liftin’ dyin’!
Stop the worry, don’t start cryin’!
By d’Lard liftin’ reevin’!
Stop the swipin’, stop the stealin’!
By d’Lard fryin’ Moses’!
Dry yer eyes, blow yer noses!
Check yer pulse, check yer pills
Write us cheques and send yer wills!

Look at the person next to you
You thinks ‘e ‘aven’t got a clue!
Walk on over and shake his hand
Leave his rings, the watch and band.
Go on out and call it quits
Take a tent, head for the sticks!
Chuck the tube, cut the phone
Tell the world that you left home!
Because up till now you’ve had it made
Livin’ only for today.
Is you ready for the great big thump
Or is your soul fit for the dump?
Purchase CDs or our tapes
Or see our show and you’ll be saved
Cleansed of all your soul’s disease
Unless you got in free.