Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Kevin Blackmore with Chaulkie support


Remember the 454? She’s gone, she’s gone. I’m not saying I’m happy about it, but she’s gone. Remember I had that in the ‘Vette, and then I had it in the Yammie, and then I had it in the Chopper. She’s gone, eh? Not saying I’m happy about it.

But I got Frankie some good. You knows Frankie? Lives next door to me, Frankie? Ralphie’s brudder? Well ya knows him now, hey by? He looks like Hulk Hogan only half so pretty. Cause there’s two t’ings on this earth I hates; Number one: Frankie talking about the stuff he got and the stuff I don’t got and braggin’ all the time. And Number Two is Frankie’s goat, ’cause Frankie got a goat. No,no, no no: I got the goat, cause Frankie leaves the gate open all the time and he’s always over in my garden chewing on my cabbages and generally making a nuisance of hisself, and then Frankie is leaning his face over the garden saying, “You needs fertilizer.” And if I had half of what Frankie is full of I’d have lots of fertilizer, all right ,I’ll tell ya that right now.

And then Frankie’s lawnmover, that’s something else that drives me up the wall I’m gonna tell ya, is Frankie’s lawnmower. He got one of them ride on lawnmovers, eh? He ordered ’em from the catalogue.

Now, he know’d he couldn’t make the payments, he didn’t mind that. He know’d he couldn’t afford it, he didn’t mind that. So long as he could have ‘er for two months of the summer and drive by my window every morning at 5:00 o’clock he be satisfied! But I didn’t let it get to me!!!

Anger control, anger control…ok focus, focus, I got it, I got, I’m okay, I’m okay.

But he got some fright ole man. Had ‘er all last summer, see, kept over the winter never made a payment on ‘er. Ten months behind in his payments, hey by? Next t’ing ya know a little feller from the catalogue company is knockin’ on his door, little sawed off crackie about four and a half feet tall. He wit’ a brush cut and pimply face and coke bottle glasses and the zoot suit and the shiny shoes and 45 pencils in the top pocket. And he got right on the wrong side of Frankie right off.

He says, “You’re ten months behind, we’re going to have to repossess the mower.”

Frankie sez, “Oh yes,” he sez, “come on to me about being nine or ten months behind. I can’t help that. I got me priorities. I can’t help it if I needs smokes and beer!”

Frankie built the shed around ‘er. Two days later, the bys shows up with the truck to collect ‘er and couldn’t get ‘er out, Frankie built the doors too small. B’ys said it was more