Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Kevin Blackmore
You see me Yammie? What? You see me Yammie? My son, you wants to see something go? Remember the Vette? Ya, yes, ya, the Vette, brought her down from Toronto, about 10 year ago I suppose, ya. The trip from Toronto to Gander – 1800 road miles – made the trip in 13 and a half hours, including the five hour ferry ride. Cops couldn’t ticket what they couldn’t see!
Scrapped ‘er, last winter, scrapped the Vette. Took the engine, 454 four barrel, and put ‘n in me Yammie! You knows what a Yammie is? What? You don’t know what a Yammie is? A Yammie b’y, a Skidoo with a Yamaha sticker on ‘er! Now buddy that could move! My sonny b’y, I had to weld the extra track on ‘er just so she could take the strain.
My jumpin’s you should have seen us, myself and me brudder, eh, Gambo Pond, last March. You knows Gambo Pond, right? Right on! 18 Mile Pond, that’s what it’s called right b’ys? Right on. 17 miles long. Feller that named ‘er was optimistic see?
We was up on the pond well, wait a minute. Before I gets ahead of meself, ’cause, before we got on the pond we had to go through a droke o’ woods first, right b’ys? Right on. We had to go through the droke o’woods before we break out on the pond, ya knows what I’m sayin’ eh? Yeah, well now hold on now, see because even before we goes through the droke o’woods you had to go through a stretch of bog first before you go through the woods and break out on the pond, right? Right on. Well now hold on now, before you could go across the bog and through the woods and break out on the pond you had to get ‘er down over the ditch off the highway didn’t ya b’y, wha? Right on. Well now hold on now see, even before you could put ‘er down over the ditch hey, and go across the bog, through the woods and out on the pond you had to get ‘er off the trailer first, right? Yes b’y, yes b’y, yes b’y.
I can remember, old man, brudder was on the front, I was on behind, right? Yeah. We had the ‘lectric start in ‘er. The way I seen dat I said starting motor is already on to ‘er, wass 10 pounds? Why take it off when she already weighs a thousand? We rigged up a button up on the left handle bar, depress that one she start up. Now mind you, we left the manual start on ‘er, you know, to draw up the pull cord, cause you never can tell when an emergency might arise and you’d have to impress a woman. See is not everyone that can haul over a V8 with a pull cord, especially not a 454, but meself and me brudder eh, we got ‘er all built up in the chest and the muscles and the arms and everything, you knows what I’m saying eh? We can haul ‘er over just like a lawnmower. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, my son. Grab onto her ‘er. Now most fellers puts the two feet up onto ‘er and hauls back, can’t do nutting with it. I grabs on to ‘er, and she’s going eh? 454 four barrel.
Now buddy I’m gonna tell ya. Brudder gets on the front on ‘er dis day, I’m on behind, he takes out a roll of ‘lectric tape, you know, ‘ectric tape. He tapes his down thumb right flat down on the throttle, wide open what ever she could suffer, and taped the rest of it around his hand so it wouldn’t slip off. I said to meself, “He wants to go fast.” I jammed me hand under that little seat belt was on there for nutting to fit under. Yes my sonny b’y, was right raring to go eh, and he reaches up and he depresses that start button. My God, it’s like it spit the trailer and the car what was attached to the trailer 50 feet out from under ‘er, down the road, gone! Never even touched the bog! First time we come down we touched ground in the woods. And she lifts off again! Big log cross trail about that big around. You seen “Robin Hood” haven’t ya? Remember the part where he draws back the bow and arrow? Let’s ‘er go! Brdldldldldl! Same ting! Two Skis! Broadside! Into the log. Brdldldldldl! Left the two ski’s in the log! You think that’d slow ‘er down? No sir! Only made ‘er go faster! No ski’s on the front, less drag! . Next time we touched down, out on the pond, going straight up the pond. Mind you now, couldn’t go left, couldn’t go right – no skis! Couldn’t slack ‘er off, brudder had his thumb taped down! I looks at me watch, I says “17 miles, 26 seconds max!” If you fired of a 303 behind us my son it wouldn’t catch up! And then it come to me mind, eh, cause I’m the one in the family with the brains, Triton Brook up the end of the pond. March month, right? Froze over right? Froze over, right b’ys? Right b’ys?..wrong! We had a great big mild spell and all the snow up in the country melted and now all the water for 150 square miles was runnin down into Triton Brook! And we was headed right for it! I screams up, “Brudder slow down!” Only thing is he couldn’t hear me ’cause see the words was comin’ out of my mouth and going behind me, like that. I was screamin’ out “Brudder! Slow down! But he could’nt hear me! Oh yeah. We was going faster than sound, although he was only dat far ahead of me, the words wouldn’t catch up to ‘im see! I had to grab his head and stick it behind my mouth, so that the words would come out of my mouth and pour into his ear, “Brudder slow down!” He said “what do you wanna slow down for?” And I said “Triton Brook!” And he said, “G’wan I’m not slowing’ down! I’m goin’ to Saint Pierre!” I said ‘I’m gettin’off!” He said “go on ya wimp!” I got off. It’s just as well I never, I got sucked into the vacuum created behind ‘er as she parted the earth’s atmosphere, goin along, same speed, 15 feet behind ‘er, two legs outstretched same as I was sitting down! I never rinded the arse outta me pants so bad since the time in grade two I was caught for smokin’ eh? Gets up the end of the pond, old man, only a few seconds later, he strikes a rock right up by Triton Brook. Rock about so big as that block there look. He strikes dat one, bing, straight up in the air about 75 feet, comes down slouge’o, into the water, that’s it, gone. I came to an abrupt halt on the rock. To be more precise, the rock brought up in me fork. Now there is bundle of nerves what goes from the fork to the brain about so big around as your forearm, and every nerve fiber in there was screaming PAIN! I put it out of me mind. Tough eh, tough. Yessir, only one ting in me mind, brudders is brudders – blood is thicker than water, unless the water is frozen. But see if wasn’t frozen therefore, well, you knows what I’m saying. I had to go in for ‘im. I gets over there, strips off on the edge of the ice, observes the swollen parts; what was once the size of two grapes is now lookin’ like two grapefruit! Put it outta me mind again! I dove in for ‘im, slouge’o! Glub, glub glub. I find that 5 minutes swimming around under water you wants a breath of fresh air, eh? I looking around, and never seen nutting for a while ’cause the muck was all stirred up but then I seen a little light come through the muck, same as a beacon out on the point when it’s foggy eh. Light like that. And then he flashed again, flash again, I swims over to where he was to, flash again. I feels the front of ‘er, that’s the Yammie! I looks around the other side, and there’s brudder (motions hauling over the V8).