Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Kevin Blackmore

Lyrics

The first time I dated I was driving my girlfriend’s car,
It was owned by her father, as most girlfriend’s cars are!
The day was hot and sticky, but the sweat upon my brow,
was due more to my driving, I was learning how!

Jimmy Dean was my role model, I had the window down,
My left arm hanging out as we went driving >round,
With the cigarette between my lips and one hand on her knee
I was making an impression, then I scooped a bumble bee!
Bee, bee, bee, I scooped a bumble bee
I was making an impressions, then I scooped a bumble bee!

It struck my arm, deflected, and it landed on my knee!
Stunned from its concussion, it was pulsing rhythmically!
I did not panic or fluster, I was level and calm and cool,
I was going to pull over the way that Jimmy would do.

Up til now I had been charming, I guess I looked OK
I think we had good chemistry, I sensed it right away!
My date didn’t see the bee, she’d been looking away of course,
but all this changed abruptly when the bee flew up me shorts!
Shorts, shorts, shorts. The bee flew up me shorts!
All this changed abruptly when the bee flew up me shorts!

I was going to pull over and calmly explain,
Instead I straightened out lengthwise, I’m terrified of pain!
I was reaching and pulling and grabbing at my shorts and at my belt,
I guess I must’ve panicked, she said I screamed for help!

Well then she was embarrassed, thinking it’s too soon for this!
But seeing my predicament she wanted to assist!
My blind irrational terror she mistook for desire
then the car struck the shoulder and punctured a front tire!
Tire, tire, tire, punctured a front tire.
The car struck the shoulder and punctured a front tire!

She fell over atop of me as we shot through a field,
Obstructing my vision and I let go of the wheel!
The cigarette went flyin’ and flipped into her shirt
Forcing her to quickly remove her top and skirt!

There was one post in that field, clear a mile either side
The car struck it dead centre, couldn’t have done that if I tried!
And then upon the impact the rad spouted steam
we were out of that car in an instant, rubbing burns and stings.
Stings, stings, stings! Rubbing burns and stings,
we were out of the car in an instant, rubbing burns and stings.

Help arrived immediately, a cop was driving by
He noted that we had no clothes but never asked us why!
We were both embarrassed, feeling exposed and remorse
I had no driver’s licence and no insurance of course.

Well her father never forgave me, I never saw her again

A love affair so innocent had come to a tragic end!
Now I am married but wonder what might have been
I keep windows up and the bees out and I don’t like Jimmy Dean.
Dean, Dean, Dean, I don’t like Jimmy Dean,
I keep windows up and the bees out and I don’t like Jimmy Dean.