Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Traditional Kevin Blackmore


Baby was the queen of darts
I could really play pool
She was a queen and I was thirty-two
And we was still in the school

You weren’t playing

Now Kevin
He didn’t like it b’y
You’re going to have to try again


Go on Johnny

Tis wasn’t impressed

No sir

You want something totally different than that
Do ya

Give her another one
Give her another one

Uncle Arnold’s old bowels have moved once again
Though he’s still haven trouble passing water
He takes big pots of tea just to make him pee
And his stomach ain’t working like it oughta

How’s that Ray?

It’s worse


Try again Kevin

I know what he’s after


Simple music

Straight forward

I got her now
Come on
You just drive her once more
Come on

This old man
He’s got one
Johnson motor on the bum
Nick tells Pat
“Give thing a wack
This old this won’t get us home”
This old man
He’s got two
His spare motor is Evinrude
Nick says Pat
“Give the cord a pull”
And the motor joints just come unglued

Well this old man haven’t got three
Clues about trouble mechanically
Nick says Pat
“He should get him sparked”
“Don’t go says Nick
Can’t see in the dark”
This old man
He got four
He got two motors and he got two oars
Nick says Peg
“Get out your oar locks”
But Nick finds out that they got them lost

Well this old man
He’s got five
Five old flares
But near one lights
Nick says Pat
“Replace them when you should
And you won’t wind up with your flares no good”
This old man
He saved six
Waterproof matches for when he’s in the fix
Nick says Pat
“Strike up a light
Tis not that bright in the middle of the night”

Well this old man
He had seven
Inches of hose
Where he needs eleven
Nick says Pat
“Here’s what’s wrong
The hose is chopped
All gas is gone”
This old man
He had eight
Gallons of gas
But it all escaped
Nick says Pat
“Here’s what’s wrong
Your hose is chopped
All your gas is gone”

Well this old man
Don’t have nine
Lives because he’s not feline
When Nick told Pat
To strike up a light
Nick and Pat was blown out of sight
One old man
He went ten
Miles and landed home again
But where is Pat
He’s on the other shore
He won’t get home
With his Johnson outboard
Two, three, four