Recorded by: Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellers
Written by: Ray Johnson, Kevin Blackmore and Wayne Chaulk


So there we was coming back on the ferry.

The ferry is a boat see used for ferrying passengers and vehicles across the Gulf.

We was on our way from North Sydney to Port-aux-Basques.

There was an old man up on the bridge,

An old man up on the bridge and he was going (making noises to spit). What he was trying to see, was trying to time his gobbie-hockers to see how far ’twas to the face of the earth. ‘Cause he knew his physics, see, he would say like, “Physics would bring something toward the face of the earth, my son, at the rate of 32 feet per second square, therefore, there got to be about 50 feet.” And that’s what he was saying, right, Ray?

And he was saying to us, (making noises to spit). That was a second and a half, ole man, that got to be about 50 feet. Ray: That was a heavy one too. Well you see, Ray, it don’t matter how heavy they are, gravity will pull them all toward the face of the earth at the same rate UNLESS (the shape is important), right see, the shape is important, unless it spreads out, like an envelope or something, or a parachute and it comes down sort of slow like. So he was up on the bridge and me buddy from Toronto and he says “Pardon me sir, can you tell me the time?” And the old man looked up at him and looked at his watch and looked up at ‘im again and said, “No,” and went back to spitting gobbie-hockers. 50 feet, got to be about 50 feet.

“I see you have a watch. Why don’t you tell me the time?”

“Well old man, it’s like this, if I goes and tells you the time, well, we’re going to have a cuffer. No doubt we’ll be standing here talking, and over’ll walk me missus, and she’ll be standing up talking to ya no doubt til we docks in Port-aux-Basques, because she can talk, my son. She’ll keep you going 4 or 5 hours straight no problem and then she’ll have you home for a cuppa tea. And then me daughter, sits down for a cuppa tea, won’t take long before you has ‘er out on dates. Then it wont’ take very long I spose, six months would go by, and she’ll come home someday, she’s gonna marry you. Sure I can’ have me daughter marrying no one who haven’t got a watch.”

Ray: “What foresight, Kevin, what foresight!”

Kevin: “Foresight, what clear thinking that man had.”